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Jokes About Dentists | Dentist Beverly Hills, Dentist Los Angeles
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Jokes About Dentists

Posted by Z Dental Group - August 31st, 2011

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A lady entered the dentist’s surgery in an obvious state of agitation. The dentist tried to calm her down, assuring her that he would no nothing to hurt her. She sat down in the chair and started fidgeting nervously as the dentist began sterilizing all the required equipment. When he asked her to open her mouth she screamed. So he tried to calm her down again even though he was losing patience. Almost immediately the lady threw herself into a hysterical fit, then realizing the dentist was glaring at her she said, “Oh, doctor! I’m so nervous. I hate going to the dentist. Why, I think I’d rather have a baby than have a tooth drilled.”  The dentist replied, “Well, ma’am, better make up your mind fast so I can adjust the chair accordingly.”

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Patient: Doc, what should I do with all the gold and silver in my mouth?
Dentist: Don’t smile in a bad neighborhood.

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“I am sorry, madam, but I shall have to charge you hundred dollars for pulling your boy’s tooth.” “Hundred dollars! Why, I understood you to say that you charged only twenty dollars for such work!” “Yes,” replied the dentist, “but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared out four other patients out of the office.”

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Young lady to father “Daddy, when I grow up shall I become a heart-doctor or a tooth-doctor ” “Dentist” “Why father ?” “We have only one heart, but 32 teeth!”

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“Open wider.” requested the dentist, as he began his examination of the patient. “Good God !” he said startled. “You’ve got the biggest cavity I’ve ever seen – the biggest cavity I’ve ever seen.” “OK Doc !” replied the patient. “I’m scared enough without you saying something like that twice.” “I didn’t !” said the dentist. “That was the echo.”

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Pardon me for a moment, please,” said the dentist to the patient, “but before beginning this work I must have my drill.” “Good heavens, man!” exclaimed the patient irritably. “Can’t you pull a tooth without a rehearsal?”

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Patient to Dentist: “How much to get my teeth straightened?” “Twenty thousand bucks” Patient heads for the door. Dentist to patient: “Where are you going?” “To a plastic surgeon to get my mouth bent.”

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How many dentists does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to administer the anesthetic, one to extract the light bulb, and one to offer the socket some vile pink mouthwash.

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As the judge said to the dentist: Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth?

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While I was waiting to see the dentist, a woman came out of his inner office smiling. Nodding to me, she said, “Thank goodness my work is completed. I’m so glad to have found a painless dentist and one who’s so gentle and understanding too.” When seated in the dentist chair, I related the incident to the doctor. He laughed and explained, “Oh, that was just my Mother.”

***

A dentist, after completing work on a patient, came to him begging. Dentist: Could you help me? Could you give out a few of your loudest, most painful screams? Patient: Why? Doctor, it wasn’t all that bad this time. Dentist: There are so many people in the waiting room right now, and I don’t want to miss the four o’clock ball game.

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“I came in to make an appointment with the dentist.” said the man to the receptionist. “I’m sorry sir.” she replied. “He’s out right now, but…” “Thank you,” interrupted the obviously nervous prospective patient. “When will he be out again ?”

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Dentist: I have to pull the aching tooth, but don’t worry it will take just five minutes. Patient: And how much will it cost? Dentist: It’s $150.00. Patient: $150.00 for just a few minutes work??? Dentist: I can extract it very slowly if you like.

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